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What Did The Ape Think Of The Grape’s House
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Be-Ve baby products are 50% heavier than melamine! Contains no melamine (potentially toxic), BPA or harmful chemicals. We are FDA approved for food use. Written on neon tubes and hanging from the Lone Cafe’s balcony rail, these words are the only advertisement for the old monkey in Minneapolis. At downtown bars, bartenders prepare 4.5 oz. The Insane cocktail: three citrus olives, vinegar, Buddy’s grapefruit, two straws. Just like that, an interesting legend appeared in the bar.
Vintage Monkey has seen little press in its nearly 30-year history. Aside from thrifty college students and dual season ticket holders, few locals know that this purple gorilla roams the city streets. Order outside of Minnesota and your server might think you’re talking about 1970s Hanna-Barbera cartoons or weed. But for those in the know, the ancient monkey is a simple, somewhat comical, local delight.
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Opening in 1982 with Nothing But Food and Juicy, Loon quickly became a near-Metrodome institution, known as a postage stamp for rappers. It wasn’t until 1995 that the cocktail was born, the brainchild of two Loon bartenders, Danny Baker and Marcus Dorn, who used to hang out at the bar on Saturday afternoons.
“I looked behind the bar and the two bartenders and the manager and the waitress in the back of the bar were fired at 4 p.m.,” recalls Lone owner Tim Mahoney. “I was like, ‘What’s going on here?’ I thought. How are you guys? “We came up with a new video called the grape monkey,” they say.
At the time, Absolut Citron was newly launched and drinkers were looking for a flavored vodka cocktail. At the same time, Mahoney explained, old-fashioned sodas were just hitting the market, and Loon began ordering Buddy soda in New Ulm, Minnesota. Party dresses such as garlic or blue kamikaze are also in vogue. Drunkenly, Baker and Dorn combine the three trends in a modified Mind Eraser.
Baker and Dorn were sent home that day for messing up, but since then the Grape Monkey has been the go-to cocktail for the hungry. The classic recipe is a mix of citrus liqueurs and bitters combined with equal amounts of grape cider. The drink is even made of three, but sits on top of the bar, and you slide it with two straws from the bottom, shotgun style. Loon also makes a variant called the Orangutan, which goes into Buddy’s orange business.
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According to Mahoney, they will be distributing hundreds of cocktails over the next six months to distribute to any drinkers. In two years, Mahoney said, he’s seen people ordering from bars as far north as Brainerd. This is the 2003 St. Cloud Times squealed at the opportunity, but press clippings have been sparse since then, aside from a bright purple cocktail concocted a few steps from where Prince took the photo.
. The original was made with Absolut Citron, but Lun later switched to UV Vodka, distilled in Princeton, Minnesota. Now they use three olives, and Mahoney estimates about 500 are burned at the bar a year.
Because the cocktail is so simple to make, Grape Monkey has become popular. According to Mahoney, athletes in particular are starting to order dozens. in 2012
In a film by then-Wolf star Kevin Love, he named Loon’s Vintage Monkey as one of his favorite drinks. Mahoney recalled a night when Mahoney, former Wildcats offensive lineman Cal Clutterback and Minneapolis comedian Nick Swardson had more than 100 drinks with entourage. But it doesn’t come close to the overnight record. He didn’t give his name, but Mahoney said two men recently came into the Minnesota desert overnight and bought 1,500 vines in one night.
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It is for this reason that Grape Monkey has become a favorite after-work drink for service workers. It might not be on many menus in the Twin Cities, but if you know the man behind the bar, they might serve you. John Ledo made them for other bars when he worked at the Muddy Water bar in downtown Minneapolis.
“It’s basically a vintage Minneapolis version of Mind Eraser,” Ledo said. “Many bartenders, servers and chefs order when they stop by because it’s easy, fun and fast. “If you make one, two of these potions, you make 10.”
Ledo now works at Wrecktangle Pizza, which features a giant plastic gorilla on the handle of Lone’s famous drink. They collect unflavored wine and grape juice, which they then mix with equal parts Sprite and distilled water. It definitely packs a punch, and some Minnesotans have a much-needed sweet-spicy taste to the drink. Tony Jarosch of Northeast Minneapolis sells his own version, and their signature Greenie drink is naturally named Purple. This Sno-Cone uses syrup as the primary flavor driver.
There is a third option, sponsored by UV Vodka itself: using grape-flavored vodka. Mix it in a glass with lemon-lime juice and vinegar. It’s actually vintage Collins, but Ledo doesn’t hesitate to call this version “total crap.” He thinks you should serve him low and the game will absorb him as quickly as possible.
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Perhaps that’s why the grape monkey’s popularity has never gone beyond cult status. This is what the drink itself was like after it was created. Basketball players and part-time hosts and bartenders who appreciate easy ordering have survived. The new purple! Yes! It’s a deep, dark, blendable pigment with the ultimate WOW factor. Vintage Monkey is the perfect addition to any neon color collection.
“The pigment is amazing! This is my first time buying Crazy Mica and I love how vibrant the vintage monkey neon purple is. The quality is amazing!” — Keyundra P. (proved)
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